I had the best time.
The. Best. Time.
Then I came home and it's just freaking amazing how the old tapes started running through my head. You know, how I'm not good company and so shy that I can't speak half the time. And dangerously lonely. And I just talked and talked too much. I said all the wrong things and divulged too much of myself and stayed too long.
This time, though, I'm not letting those tapes get away with it. Today, every time I start beating myself up over imaginary offenses, I'm going to stop, take a deep breath, and bring myself back to the present and what I really know. That I AM good company and that I wasn't the only one having a good time last night. That even if I made mistakes and talked too much and did all of those other things, in the end, it's not a moral failing worth the kind of abuse I am heaping on myself. Today I am going to keep reminding myself that sometimes a good time is just a good time and doesn't need to be dissected and analyzed and rehashed endlessly.
And I'm going to try to not roll my eyes at myself.
Having been lucky enough to sit with you and have drinks and appetizers in the past, I know firsthand that you ARE fun and you ARE good company and you DO talk alot but that is only because you have a lot of wise things to say and you don't do that thing where people talk alot - about themselves. You are gifted, in my opinion, at getting people to talk about themselves and tell their own stories. Plus, "you know", you have that wonderful voice that I could listen to for hours. You'll know I'm right when those new friends invite you for drinks and appetizers again in the near future.
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