Saturday, May 15, 2010


Last night, I went over to have drinks and appetizers with some new friends.

I had the best time.

The. Best. Time.

Then I came home and it's just freaking amazing how the old tapes started running through my head.  You know, how I'm not good company and so shy that I can't speak half the time.  And dangerously lonely. And I just talked and talked too much.  I said all the wrong things and divulged too much of myself and stayed too long.

This time, though, I'm not letting those tapes get away with it.  Today, every time I start beating myself up over imaginary offenses, I'm going to stop, take a deep breath, and bring myself back to the present and what I really know. That I AM good company and that I wasn't the only one having a good time last night. That even if I made mistakes and talked too much and did all of those other things, in the end, it's not a moral failing worth the kind of abuse I am heaping on myself.  Today I am going to keep reminding myself that sometimes a good time is just a good time and doesn't need to be dissected and analyzed and rehashed endlessly.

And I'm going to try to not roll my eyes at myself.

1 comment:

  1. Having been lucky enough to sit with you and have drinks and appetizers in the past, I know firsthand that you ARE fun and you ARE good company and you DO talk alot but that is only because you have a lot of wise things to say and you don't do that thing where people talk alot - about themselves. You are gifted, in my opinion, at getting people to talk about themselves and tell their own stories. Plus, "you know", you have that wonderful voice that I could listen to for hours. You'll know I'm right when those new friends invite you for drinks and appetizers again in the near future.