Saturday, May 15, 2010
I had the best time.
The. Best. Time.
Then I came home and it's just freaking amazing how the old tapes started running through my head. You know, how I'm not good company and so shy that I can't speak half the time. And dangerously lonely. And I just talked and talked too much. I said all the wrong things and divulged too much of myself and stayed too long.
This time, though, I'm not letting those tapes get away with it. Today, every time I start beating myself up over imaginary offenses, I'm going to stop, take a deep breath, and bring myself back to the present and what I really know. That I AM good company and that I wasn't the only one having a good time last night. That even if I made mistakes and talked too much and did all of those other things, in the end, it's not a moral failing worth the kind of abuse I am heaping on myself. Today I am going to keep reminding myself that sometimes a good time is just a good time and doesn't need to be dissected and analyzed and rehashed endlessly.
And I'm going to try to not roll my eyes at myself.