Thursday, April 29, 2010


Today is the day I go for the MRI of my foot.  I have to drive to Queens (which is always stressful because of the traffic) and I know going in that it's going to hurt.

Because I am nervous and scared about what the results will show (something new has gone wrong with my congenitally malformed foot) I know that it will be hard for me to maintain my sense of peace and mindfulness.  Usually when I am in these situations, I start maniacally cracking jokes at my own expense, which leaves everyone laughing but me.  I ease the tension of the situation for everyone but myself.

Today I will concentrate on staying focused and serene.  I will try to understand the message my body is sending me with this pain.  I will not let the events of the day set me back on my journey to live mindfully and with peace. I will not fall back on old coping habits (mindlessly eating, denying the pain) but I will try my hardest to stay entirely in the present.

And I will pray that whatever is discovered by this test will be something that can be fixed.

How do you greet stress and overwhelm?  Do you feel frantic and shut out your inner voice that tells you to slow down, or do you arm yourself with inner peace and steadfastness?


  1. Hi, Barb. I visited your blog recently and followed the link here. I always enjoy reading your work, and this one is no exception. I hope you don't mind my reading here. These are great lessons/reminders that I could certainly use.

  2. I do the joking/self-depracating (sp?) thing too. Need to work on that. how did the peaceful approach go?

  3. Unfortunately, I tend to join forces with those who expect unreasonable things of me and rationalize that somehow I can be expected to work 90 hours a week while raising a child alone or some such nonsense and expect myself to somehow keep up. That's getting better, not so much because I've learned not to do that as because I've learned that since I can't do that, I need to surround myself with people (and an employer) who don't make outrageous demands.

  4. I'm afraid I don't manage them well at all! One reason I am so grateful for Mr.Q - not only does he put up with it, he helps me stay grounded. I need a lot of solitude, and when I don't get it, I'm easily put off kilter. Usually he sees it before I do and "sends me to my room" to knit and breathe and find my balance. Happily for both of us, I'm learning to recognize when I need some alone time before I get crabby at him.

    How did the MRI go? Sending you lots of good thoughts...